Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Dr. S Wow!
One Shabbat, I wen to the shul of Rabbi H. Of course venice was full of many colorful people and although, I hated being in shul, I did look forward to meeting the people. Actually, I was looking for love. I had this hope that someone would love me and care for me. I needed a lot of help and I truly didn't know what I needed and how to help myself. I was quite distant from anything that was remotely related to feeling, life and reality. Dr. Sheldon, a psychologist saw me in shul and must have noticed how lost I was. He has a big heart and he invited me over for Shabbat lunch. We started getting to know each other. I remember feeling like a small child around him. It was like having a father. I knew that I was in bad shape but I was out of touch with how bad it was. I heard he was a psychologist. I was smart enough to know that to be a psychologist, it took a lot of training. I also knew that I wanted to be one. I was jealous. I wanted to be a Psychologist. I had no idea where to start. I had barely been to college. I also felt exhausted. I had recently completed an eight year ordeal in trying to conquer the world of talmud. I was tired and I didn't want to do anything else. I wanted to rest, I wanted to breath, I wanted to live. I needed a break. I didn't know exactly what I wanted a break from but I knew that I wanted a break. I also learned that he was a talented musician. This gave me an idea of how behind I was. Here was man who had an accomplished career as a psychologist and an accomplished career as a musician. I felt so empty. I felt an attraction for both of these professions. How would I ever get anywhere? Why do I have to start everything so late? I hated how behind I was in life, in doing anything constructive.