Tuesday, November 24, 2009

awkward encounters. restaurant

As my luck would have it, I was working a few blocks from the school that I used to teach in. It was really strange. I had changed my life a bit and because it was a kosher restaurant, I would now need to face all those parents and Rabbi's that I spent so much time with last year. I was so scared. I was so embarrassed. I wondered what they thought. Some of them had respect for me. Now it was probably different. The comforting thing was that I felt so much better about myself. I felt like I was doing the right thing. I was no longer a hypocrite. I didn't have to worry about saying one thing to my students and not living it. Now, I was feeling more whole. My outside life reflected more of what I felt and believed on the inside. This was extraordinary. I had never felt this feeling before. This was the first time that I realized how good it could feel to do the right thing and that it can actually give me strength I didn't think I had. Until then I had thought that I just wouldn't have the strength to look at those same parents and teachers in front of whom, I used to dress so well and now I was cleaning up their leftovers at the restaurant. I had a really good feeling about being me. I Knew that I was doing the right thing and that is what made a difference.